satoko ayakura | 綾倉 聡子 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thewisechild) wrote2025-02-12 04:26 pm
thewisechild) wrote2025-02-12 04:26 pm
Entry tags:
fic: losses (bleach x-over)
LOSSES
?
The second the attack on Soul Society commences, the Kuchiki Manor closes down, kido-reinforced walls keeping it apart from the crumbling surroundings, untouchable, untouched, safe. Those members of the family not serving the military, a majority of these being women with Satoko at their helm, are ushered to their private quarters, doors are shut, voices are lowered or silenced altogether. The divide between in and out becomes stark, harsh, painful – like mockery. Satoko thinks of Byakuya-sama encouraging her to train, since then she has finished the books he brought, having proceeded to prowl through the library one tome at a time for more, his recommendations.
However, once the war finds them, studying is suddenly the farthest from her mind. The book with a detailed introduction to kido incantations, a large, encyclopaedic work, that she picked up earlier in the morning lies unopened near her bed. The maids bring her all necessities, go about the day as if nothing has happened, although she knows that they, too, have families, lovers, friends -- fighting.
The same way she knew she was pregnant before having any proof to support her suspicion, she knows before they send word from Sixth Division. It’s a lower-ranking member of the squad, but a Kuchiki, who has signed himself to the brief, which might explain how the intel comes through. The Captain’s been defeated in battle, stand by.
Satoko reads over the words two times, precisely, then she hands the paper back to the steward, puts a hand on her belly and turns away, staring at the opaque walls of her bedroom behind which people are running, a blurry of shadow and light and motion, so much commotion. There are procedures and safety measures well in place, Ume shows up and shuts all the doors, blocking the view of the garden outside above which the sky is blazing. Satoko knows, this will be the last she sees of it, until they are no longer required to stand by any longer.
*
Life continues in the Kuchiki Manor as if it still had a Head. Even once official news arrives from Fourth Division that Byakuya-sama is in a coma that he most likely will not wake from.
*
The first day she practices calligraphy, writing the kanji for “summer” on fifty different sheets of paper, never managing to finish a brush stroke satisfactorily. She asks Ume to burn every attempt that doesn’t work out, so the girl burns her way through a whole stack. And every time someone slips in through the barest crack in the wall, Satoko looks towards the garden, towards the sky outside, trying to gauge what colour it is. What kind of light fills it.
The second day, she sleeps, not dreaming of anything. There is no light in her dreamscape, she thinks there ought to be a moon in the sky above her head, but it’s empty, painted pitch black, like a mourning shroud.
The third day, the door out is opened 28 times and not one time is the sky the same colour. She counts. Compares.
Waits.
The fourth and fifth days, she memorizes kido incantations, she goes through them front to back.
The sixth day, she sends Ume out of the room and cries for an hour, while at the back of her mind, she remembers Byakuya-sama caressing her cheek, her eyes overflowing after he had taken her to bed the first time. Are you truly? Are you happy? Not until the moment when she realizes that she was, do the tears stop, completely. Satoko gets to her feet, labouredly, because she is almost 9 months pregnant, calls Ume back into the room and makes her get her something to eat.
He fought for this world, so it mustn’t waste away in his absence. What kind of sacrifice would that be, after all?
On the seventh day, the war is over and they won, people say.
People say.
Standing on the outdoor walkway in front of her bedroom, Satoko looks towards the sky, grey from smoke. Grey like his eyes, she thinks, and can’t even recall the proper stroke order of “victory”.
However, once the war finds them, studying is suddenly the farthest from her mind. The book with a detailed introduction to kido incantations, a large, encyclopaedic work, that she picked up earlier in the morning lies unopened near her bed. The maids bring her all necessities, go about the day as if nothing has happened, although she knows that they, too, have families, lovers, friends -- fighting.
The same way she knew she was pregnant before having any proof to support her suspicion, she knows before they send word from Sixth Division. It’s a lower-ranking member of the squad, but a Kuchiki, who has signed himself to the brief, which might explain how the intel comes through. The Captain’s been defeated in battle, stand by.
Satoko reads over the words two times, precisely, then she hands the paper back to the steward, puts a hand on her belly and turns away, staring at the opaque walls of her bedroom behind which people are running, a blurry of shadow and light and motion, so much commotion. There are procedures and safety measures well in place, Ume shows up and shuts all the doors, blocking the view of the garden outside above which the sky is blazing. Satoko knows, this will be the last she sees of it, until they are no longer required to stand by any longer.
Life continues in the Kuchiki Manor as if it still had a Head. Even once official news arrives from Fourth Division that Byakuya-sama is in a coma that he most likely will not wake from.
The first day she practices calligraphy, writing the kanji for “summer” on fifty different sheets of paper, never managing to finish a brush stroke satisfactorily. She asks Ume to burn every attempt that doesn’t work out, so the girl burns her way through a whole stack. And every time someone slips in through the barest crack in the wall, Satoko looks towards the garden, towards the sky outside, trying to gauge what colour it is. What kind of light fills it.
The second day, she sleeps, not dreaming of anything. There is no light in her dreamscape, she thinks there ought to be a moon in the sky above her head, but it’s empty, painted pitch black, like a mourning shroud.
The third day, the door out is opened 28 times and not one time is the sky the same colour. She counts. Compares.
Waits.
The fourth and fifth days, she memorizes kido incantations, she goes through them front to back.
The sixth day, she sends Ume out of the room and cries for an hour, while at the back of her mind, she remembers Byakuya-sama caressing her cheek, her eyes overflowing after he had taken her to bed the first time. Are you truly? Are you happy? Not until the moment when she realizes that she was, do the tears stop, completely. Satoko gets to her feet, labouredly, because she is almost 9 months pregnant, calls Ume back into the room and makes her get her something to eat.
He fought for this world, so it mustn’t waste away in his absence. What kind of sacrifice would that be, after all?
On the seventh day, the war is over and they won, people say.
People say.
Standing on the outdoor walkway in front of her bedroom, Satoko looks towards the sky, grey from smoke. Grey like his eyes, she thinks, and can’t even recall the proper stroke order of “victory”.